How awful am I!? Anyways, I forgot to tell ya'll that one of my former foster sons is now staying with us. We will call him "The Pirate". He is so helpful and is trying his best to get back on his feet. I couldn't let him be homeless. That just would break my heart.
So, since it's Christmas, my agency is sponsoring him! I'm so excited! He thought he wasn't going to get anything f0r Christmas but it's going to be a great one for him!
My daughter, The Tomb Raider, loves The Pirate. He plays the guitar, sings, and pays attention to her. Four year old girls LOVE being the center of attention!
Anyways, Lovebug got himself a PS3 for Christmas and he got me an Ipod Touch. I'm finally giving up my Palm Pilot. It's seen better days and I need to simplify my scheduling.
Fisher is going to Oregon for Christmas to get reacquainted with his Grandma and Brother. I'm excited for him. He's been doing so well at home and at school and he deserves to be with his family. If all goes well over the holiday he might be moving to Oregon permanently.
This is what I do. We're a transitional foster home. Ultimately, we want permanency for the kids. Of course we get attached but when I went through my training 6 years ago the one thing they told us that always stayed with me was, "If they leave and your heart doesn't break then you didn't do it right."
I have raised 24 teenage boys and have had my share of heartbreaks! That's OK though because I believe the more of my heart I give away, the more it grows! Sounds strange but it's true!
Spike is struggling right now. He's always had a hard time making attachments in his life. So many people have let him down and it has hardened him. It's so difficult to reach him. He doesn't respond to positive reinforcement which is my primary parenting style. I've had to step outside of my comfort zone and use a depriving parenting style. It seems that Spike only responds to deprivation. For example, if I say, "Good job on your chores today!" (positive reinforcement) he won't do the chores the next day. The only time he will do what is expected of him is if he is threatened with a consequence (deprivation). That is really difficult for me because it feels like such a negative way to parent. However, it's the only thing that he responds to. There is a friend of his family that wants to take Guardianship of him. I am hoping that he can make that work and find a permanent placement with them.
Jaguar is now officially a Mona Vie Rep. He is going with Lovebug and me to a TEAM Seminar tomorrow. He's really excited to learn how to build his business. My youngest sister (19) is also going with us. She is starting in the business, too. We'll call her Greenie. She's expecting her first child in May! OMG! My little sister is preggo! We will know if it is a girl or boy on December 16Th.
My older sister is coming to visit tomorrow. She lives in Kentucky and I haven't seen her in over 6 years! I can't wait. We'll call her Spiffy. She'll only be here for a week but I'm hoping to go see her in Kentucky next summer.
Anyways, I'll try and check in more often. If I don't then I wish you a VERY MERRY HOLIDAY SEASON!
Take Care!
Kat
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3 comments:
Thats amazing that you are a foster parent. I bet that is sooo hard when they leave, but I bet you are such a blessing to them. And if positive reinforcement doesn't work maybe it's cause he is embarrassed and afraid to fail if he starts doing things right. As tough as it may be, you might be the person to change his perspective, I would continue to be positive, but my oldest is a three year old so I don't know much. I am just a super positive person too, I work best with positive reinforcement so maybe I am trying to push that on him. Anyway there is a great quote by Marianne Williamson in her book The Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles. It is my favorite quote ever! here it is
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
I was going to suggest framing the quote in a little 5X7 frame so he can have it with him where ever he goes. Or laminating it onto a card for his wallet. Just a thought :)
Oh I know that Marianne Williamson Quote very well! Thanks for sharing it with me. I needed the reminder. In the past it has helped me to overcome so many fears in my life. I'm so quick to forget the victories! Thanks again! Sorry it took so long to respond!
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